Aerosmith Weekend!

After a crazy long date drought (again) we took things to the extreme and booked a babysitter on Saturday from noon to 3 a.m. so we could drive to Tampa to see Aerosmith in concert!

This was a concert compromise because I finally became fed-up with going to see the same bands over and over again (Poison, Def Leppard, Skid Row, etc. etc.) that I refused to go to those anymore and Bryan would go by himself.  It was just time to see a new band, and Aerosmith met our criteria for a mutually enjoyable concert:

1. They're a rock band (Bryan's requirement - if I ever want to go see John Mayer again, I'll have to go by myself)
2. We've never seen them before (my requirement)
3. We know enough of their songs to sing along (both of our requirements)

We made it to Tampa with about 2 hours to spare before the concert, so we headed next door to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.  Bryan had never been to a casino before and was so excited to check out all the games.  I didn't want to be a "Dana Downer" so I didn't tell him how boring casinos and gambling actually are, but Bryan quickly found out for himself. 

After a couple of games of slots, Bryan was clearly upset by the stupidity of the game.  "This is the dumbest thing ever!"  He exclaimed for the entire row to hear.  "Why do people do this all day?"  Soon enough, a casino employee was on the spot explaining the surprisingly complex slot machine rules to Bryan.  It still didn't satisfy him, but it kept him quiet. 

Bryan with his slot machine winning vouchers.

Feeding the vouchers into the machine.
Let's see how much he won...

Booo.  Only $1.20.

Here are the top three reasons why gambling isn't fun:

1.  The casino's have made even the simplest games (like the slot machines) crazy confusing.  It's not as simple as putting in a quarter, pulling the lever and three Cherries = Jackpot.  There are up to 25 different "lines" to play on one spin, just making your chances of winning anything that much smaller.  

2.  No one looks like they are having fun.  The casino is full of sour-faced zombie people mesmerized by the flashing lights.  We were convinced by the end of our time that the casino was playing a tape of winning (ding, ding, ding) noises over the speakers, because we never saw anyone win anything. 

3.  You lose money ... every time.   We spent about $5 on the slot machines and were so bored it was tempting to just walk away leaving spin credits remaining on the machine.  

The only fun part was making fun of what all the zombie gamblers were wearing.  For whatever reason, all the younger girls were dolled up like they were actually going out in Vegas (not just outside of Lakeland, FL where the Hard Rock is located), but the guys were a mess.  I am not usually the fashion police, but socks and sandals are always a no-no. 

The highlight of our time there was observing the 'high limit' poker table.  We went around the table, having a field day on each guy.  I caught fire.  "That guy looks like he has no idea what's going on.  I wonder if he took acid this morning and wound up at this table.  He's gonna wake up tomorrow asking himself, 'Was I at the high limit poker table yesterday? Why are these headphones around my neck'?"  (Bryan's note:  I love it when Dana gets on fire...and I'm not the target.)

We also theorized about what the guys with headphones were listening to.  I say it's a self assurance CD that repeats encouraging words of affirmation a la Stuart Smalley.  Bryan believed that everyone was listening to John Tesh.  We will need to research this more in order to get to the bottom of this.   

We made it to the concert around 7:30 and were pleasantly surprised that Blue Oyster Cult was the opening band.  They played "Godzilla" for about 45 minutes, then wrapped up their set with "Fear the Reaper."  I honestly think they only played two songs.

Some people nearby (on the lawn) let us sit in their folding chairs.  This family told us that this was their 6-year-old's 4th Aerosmith concert.  Bryan joked that Dylan is only a year away from his first concert.  I am almost positive he was serious.

In between sets, we struck up a conversation with a guy who we thought was handicapped due to our inability to understand him.  Turns out, he was a drunk guy named Russ from Yorkshire, United Kingdom.  The difference between the two were quite negligible.  Bryan is used to speaking with people from London, but he was having a tough time understanding Russ' "English."  It was an awkward conversation.  We were happy that Aerosmith came on stage early. 

Aerosmith came on about 8:45 and for whatever reason opened with a cover song that no one knew.  Weirdest opening song ever, but they quickly recovered and went into "Love in an Elevator", "Livin' on the Edge," Walk This Way," "Crazy", "Cryin'" and a bunch of others classics. 

All in all, the concert was excellent, although the temperature was around 80 the entire time, so it was very sweaty with no breeze.  I was super hot, so I can't imagine how Bryan felt in his leather pants.  Also, due to the noise restrictions for the amphitheater, this was the only concert I've even been to where I left and said without any irony "You know, it could have been a little louder."  Bryan and I could hear our own voices singing along way too much.

Before the concert began, and before it got too hot.

Very sweaty, but a great concert.

I promise, Aerosmith is up there somewhere.